I have always had a huge thing about films, particularly horror, which was a big inspiration for my work on SLEEPAWAKE CHAOSKAMPF. I have been interested in the idea of unintentional parts of language, fragments of preemptiveness and thinking about ways of invoking prophecy through characters and narratives. These ideas really blended well with the genre of horror and suspense-oriented horror tropes like the jumpscare being related to preemptiveness. Horror has an ability to invoke emotions and stimulations quicker compared to other genres, and I think horror is related to relief and comfort as much as it makes you on the edge. I really wanted my work to embody this feeling of horror and uncertain desires, and I wanted to create an universe that is comfortable and terrifying at the same time, warm but also chilled. 


Kenneth Anger - Invocation of my Devon Brother (1969)


The title of the project stems from the Sleepaway Camp series. I wanted to sort of rewrite, and pay tribute to this typically transphobic film which used transness and non-hetereosexuality as a trigger for bringing out feelings of horror. In Sleepaway camp 1, I empathised a lot with Angela Baker, the main character, something that I cannot quite pinpoint but I think the director somehow accidentally accessed emotions of queerness that we share. I really feel her whenever I watch this film. The poem for this project is my letter to Angela as well as a hypothetical letter sent to me from Angela.



Narratives present in pop culture represent the way in which dominant cultures are structured; what we make is a mirror of ourselves. This means that if a figure (or figures) of deific superiority had made us, they must be very similar to who & what we are, just like our creations mirror back to us. Like AI, and twitter bots learning to communicate as well as picking derogatory language, our goddex is just as much human as ourselves. Looking at these reflections of ourselves can be a big inspiration, and I believe that it’s important to regard our digital world as being equal to religion in terms of spirituality.


Jack Smith - Normal Love (1963)


I have been looking at filmmaker Jack Smith’s work and his influence on the subject of film. His films include themes of disruption/ unfinished narratives, mis-takes, homemade footage, alternative ideas of beauty, pornography, and queerness. His ‘ordered chaos’ synthesised strangeness, horror, wildness and queerness that transgress social structures. He opened up a new gate for cinema. By dematerialising his own work (almost failing to make work), he is ever simulating a vanishing point of work that almost does not exist to be defined. The attributes of failures are quasi-form, non-finished, pre-maturity, amateure and non-descript and these are what transform the way art stimulates the viewer unconventionally. This state of perpetual transformation was really crucial for me to understand.



Kevin McCarty, Space land (2004)


I was fascinated by Kevin McCarty’s work Chameleon Club  with pictures of performance stages lit up as though the show is about to happen; they capture the theatrics of preemptiveness, and in doing so create a feeling of utopia that is sacred, protected from current normality. My idea of creating an arctic environment took inspiration from this. The idea of  freezing something is also a way to preserve it; people have put to use ideas of cryogenics to project an earthly body into a future that is unknown, with frozen love and history, stored in a state of sacred un-ruin. Things that have not happened but are yet to come, the impenetrable gloss of the frozen surface temporarily presenting a preemptive day of freedom. Maybe I thought about this work a lot more because of the current situation, what I miss most is going to queer spaces, watching colourful people on stages, meeting people like me, being on the dancefloor, and coming back home with the family heart full of euphorias.